Birth Of Slayers
by Paladin Steelbreaker
Summary: Why Slayers shouldnt have children! (The greatest horror of Angel and OZ)


Author:  Paladin Steelbreaker 

Title:  Birth Of Slayers

Raiting:  ?  ( foul language)

Spoilers:  Buffy: up until the end of season 3.

Keywords:  Read it and see.

Legalese:  All characters exept Those noted below  with their respective rights, properties and copyrights are the property of their respective creators, authors, owners, producers and agencies. These characters are used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended or meant, and no money will be made from this story. This story may be copied in its entirety, and may be distributed as long as all copyright information remains. And ofcourse it would be nice if you tell me. 

Authors Notes. This was just something that popped into my head, one day I was writing on another fick. And about the Os/Faith thing; I don't know where the heck it came from. I must admit I was quite shocked myself. So please don't slay me.

Dedications: I would like to dedicate this story, how ever amateurish, to some of the greatest fanfic authors out there. Namely:

Steven Pantovich

Tim Knight

Mike Weyer 

Nick Midian

Saber Shadowkitten 

Akraen

And the ones responsible for the magnificent stories/series:

A tale of two slayers

Winters are always harsh ( and the sequel)

Years later/Year inn, year out. 

Sorry that your names have slipped from my mind. You did a wonderful job. Your stories, were among the few first ones that I read. The ones that woke my interest for fanfic. Sadly I don't  seem to find those stories on the internet anymore. With the exeption for Winters are always harsh. Are there somebody  out there that knows where to find them?

If you want to comment on my story. (please, please, PLEASE!!)

Compliments, or firespitting criticism. Or simply telling me I have gone of the deep end (I still don't know what hit me when I made Os marry Faith)

Or if you know where I can find the before mentioned "Missing" stories, you are welcome to mail me 

At this address:  pal-o-lo@online.no

And now finally on with the story:

Birth of Slayers. 

At Sunnydale birthclinic two nurses hastened down the corridor to the two last rooms. They seemed somewhat scared -- and with good reason.

" AAAHH!!" It came from a room. "ANGEL YOU BLOODY MISERABLE EXCUSE FOR AN EX- BLOODSUCKER". "Why couldn't you keep your pants on? If I had known how much this would hurt, I would have castrated you in an instant. I'm never gonna forgive you for… Yahhhh!!!!" As a new wave of pain went through her, Buffy grabbed Angel's hand so hard she nearly broke every single bone in it.

"OZ!!!" It came from the next room. "YOU GOD DAMN FUCKING BASTARD OF A MOONHOWLING DOG". "If I knew how much this would hurt, I would have cut of your fuckin xxxx and shubbed it down your xxxx throat. How could I be so stupid? And all it took was some candlelight dinners and those damned eyes of yours. I hate you! I hate you!!" (From both rooms.) "I HATE YOU!!!"

The air suddenly shivered by the squeaky screams of two men. Slowly Angel and Oz came stumbling out in the corridor, and slid down by the wall. "If she had to beat me, why did she absolutely have to do it there", they said simultaneously, as they moaned in pain. 

"That's It" Oz said. "I'm never gonna get a Slayer pregnant again". 

"Yeah, I hear you," the high and dark ex vampire said. "Slayers obviously aren't meant to have children."

Angel had come here an hour ago with Buffy, while Oz, that lucky bastard, had come her with Faith, just forty-five minutes ago. Angel was desperate. He didn't think he could take it much longer. To see the love of his life in such pain tore him apart. And to know it was his fault. If he knew the pain she would suffer, he would have kept his pants on. That's for sure. But now he was here. Watching as Buffy went through the most terrible torments. It drove him crazy. And the worst thing was:  HE COULDN'T DO A DAMN THING TO EASE HER PAIN!!!

Two hours later 

"Push, Mrs O`Rourke, push. You're almost there," the gynaecologist said. 

"What do you think I'm doing!?" Buffy screamed in rage. "And don't look at me you bloody pervert." She tried to kick him in the groin again, but her hands and feet were restrained by leatherstraps, a lesson learned from previous experiences. 

"Sorry about that. But I'm just doing my job. Now give me one last push."

"You good damn pervert!" This one came from the other room. Would you stop looking at me?"

"Sorry about that, Mrs Ozborne. But I'm just doing my job. Now would you please just push one more time?"

 From both rooms came the sound of an extremely pissed of Slayer, and leatherstraps bursting. Then the Gynaecologists came stumbling out the doors and slid down by the wall. Then there were the first cries of the children. 

Faith looked down on her little daughter, and tears of joy fell down her cheeks. "Isn't she perfect Oz! She kissed her husband passionately. Thank you for…"

"… giving me our first child," Buffy said and kissed her husband passionately. 

"Help! Somebody help me," a nurse shouted as she ran out in the corridor. "The fathers have fainted. AND I CANT GET THEM CONSCIOUS!!!"


End file.
